Temple Cloud 212-2 v Glastonbury 2nd XI 209-9

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There’s nothing like Appleyard kit on the line to signify an unusual event – A Temple 2’s win.

It was nice to be in the bar after the game to watch Captain Veater luxuriate in the warm glow of Temple Cloud 2nd XI’s first win of the season.

Some say, win the toss, think about bowling and then – whatever you do – elect to bat.

Captain Martin has rarely won the toss so, probably in a moment of panic, he invited Glasto to bat first.

The pitch was a little slow due to the previous day’s rain and it was good to see the two TCCC opening bowlers consistently hitting the right areas in the first ten overs.

Appleyard, fresh from a rejuvenating break in the Balearics and wearing his annually laundered kit, wasn’t afraid to pitch the ball up. Spike, following an impromptu pre-match dope test, similarly bowled a good length.   

Appleyard was rewarded early, as the Glasto  opener seemed content to see an inside edge roll backwards at the lowest possible speed required to dislodge one bail.  Both bowlers picked up three wickets between them overall and went for around 5 an over which was a decent return on a good surface.

A youthful injection of very pleasing spin from Henry Liddington was the highlight of Temple’s bowling.   As spinners often do, Lids’ first wicket was from an absolute pie, nicely pouched by Danny Raisebeck who was busy guarding the wall like a member of the Black Watch.

Glasto are bottom of the league, but they probably had the best batting unit we had played against this year.   Dan Raisebeck struck an important blow in the middle of his tidy, rhythmic spell.  The Thorn’s best bat was sent back to the showers following a delivery which was adjudged (by the Thorn’s umpire) to have gone on to hit a stump.  Not sure entirely which stump or where that stump was.  In Timsbury perhaps?

Cat ‘The Gas’ Campbell was similarly returning following a weekend of diligent consumption at Twickenham last week.  Cat felt that he had partaken from each of the alcohol ‘food groups’ whilst watching the Premiership final last Saturday.  The additional imbibement had not harmed his athleticism and Cat was often to be seen around in front of the wicket tidying up from the accurate Temple spin.  At times in fact, he was quicker than a nurse heading towards a food-bank just before pay day and he looked all the better for his strength and conditioning work undertaken at the Home of rugby.  Tommy Haydon also thrilled the crowd by a vicious bowling spell which frequently looked to breach the 55 mph barrier.   Gale R had an ‘off week’ but it was nice to have enough in the bowling cupboard to deal with this rare lapse.

A Glasto score of 209-9 was likely to be no better than par.

A shock for all arrived at tea time in the shape of a fruit bowl.  Bananas, plums and various other phallic fruit offerings where available for the delectation of the hungry hoards.  This led to a significant post match debate where Danny Raisebeck, if memory serves, volunteered to prepare teas for the remainder of the season.

The third different opening pairing of the season saw Haydon and Comer begin the process of chasing down the Glasto total.  Haydon tucked into the task with the same relish that former MP Eric Pickles would demolish a packet of Jaffa Cakes.  A series of elegant drives and flicks saw Tom rush to an excellent 50.  It was always said that it was worth paying to see a cricket match if David Gower was batting.  Obviously, it would be stupid to draw the same conclusion here because Gower was a high class blade and Haydon is a village hack with a hipster beard.  However, it must be noted that this was a good innings in the context of the low grade village filth we play each week.

As usual, Comer was immovable, though he did look distracted as he realised that his new girlfriend was paying no interest to his strong and stable, Roebuckian defence.  In fact, she was happy to have her tummy tickled by any passing spectator, much to the banker’s annoyance.

Haydon departed with a warm hand covering his exit.   White joined Comer and swished some agricultural boundaries alongside some more measured drives taken off the Thorn’s spinners.

Spike and Comer sealed the deal in the 35 over with Temple losing only two wickets in chasing down the total.

The performance had been solid from all and the ground could seldom have looked better.  Hats off to Tim R and the other curators at the Temple Arena.

Next week, a trip to the seaside for those lucky enough to be selected.

NB – after reading this piece the author notes occasional references to alcohol and, as a result, would like (much to Gordon’s chagrin) to issue the following warning  to our younger members.   It also goes some way to explaining the physical state and general mood of some of the more senior members of the Temple 2nd XI.

“Alcohol, is high in kilojoules, is nutrient poor and can lead to weight gain. Alcohol can be harmful to your health, the more alcohol you drink, the greater the risk. Even small amounts of alcohol are associated with increased risk of some cancers. Too much alcohol may also damage the liver and brain, and increase the risk of high blood pressure and heart disease.

No level of drinking alcohol can be guaranteed as completely safe. However, drinking alcohol within the recommended responsible limits will enable healthy adults to keep their risk of alcohol-related accidents, injuries, diseases and death low.”

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Raisebeck junior volunteers to do the teas much to father’s disdain.

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Remainders of a ‘dry tea’ – not to Danny Boy’s liking.   Evidence here also that copper bracelets for rheumatism really don’t work.

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